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East to West Ok, so as many of you know, I am absolutely obsessed with Casting Crowns! I love them. Ok, well they have just came out with a new single which Rocks Socks! The name is East to West! And it talks about how God forgives your sins and throws it the complete opposite way, as far as the east is from the west. Now, I have been looking forward to a Casting Crowns new CD for about a year. Well, the release and the title of their single fits in perfectly with my life right now. Ok, so as many of you know, I most of the time, look like nothing is wrong. And I will admit God has made my life easier than most. I feel as if He has blessed me with an easier life than others and the nature to not let things bring me down, so that I can help others. But, I have struggles, just as anyone does. In the last year I have screwed up on things I have said, what my priorities were, and most of all some of my actions. In the last two years, I have been someone who is a leader in my youth. I have stepped up in my youth. I have been teaching my youth for these last couple of years and have been almost a youth director (I do not say this in a boastful way at ALL) and so I have hidden the "big" things that I have messed up on and the "big" things that weigh down my conscious. I also had started to make excuses for the stuff I did. I started to say "it is ok because I am in this situation" or " it is ok, I won't go any farther". Well, then God really gave me a slap to my face and opened my eyes, and where else than Kings Camp. I had already decided deep down that I was not going to listen to God on these certain things. I did not want to give certain things up. I had decided to hide it from God (even though I knew I couldn't). So one night (I think Tuesday) after worship the guy counselors called for a guys night. They confessed stuff about their life. They offered to talk to anyone of us. Now is where God moves!!! So I still am fighting off God at this point. I hit my knees and just pray "God help all these guys." Pretty much I prayed for all the guys except me. Well, then I decided to give in. I said "God I have failed you I have messed up help me. I come broken, fix me LORD." So, again many of you know that Austin Fontenot and I are about as close as you get. We know each other way to well (try playing poker with him, he knows my every bluff ha ha) Well, I said to God, "God, I need to tell someone, I need to confess this. I don't think that I can tell anyone but Austin." Well, Austin is all the way across the lake at a meeting and there was a good chance that none of the co-counselors would come back for the night. But I prayed to God, "God let Austin come back, I need you Austin." I then said, " God, if not Austin send a counselor, send someone to me." About that time, without me knowing David, a counselor comes beside me. Well, about 5 minutes later I looked back and Austin was coming through the door, looking for me. I literally ran to him in tears and hugged him for a good 5 minutes before speaking. Again without me knowing David followed, (kinda stalkerish huh, joking) I talked to Austin. I told him that I had screwed up and I don't know what to do, I did not feel like I could lift my head up. I felt tied down and for the first time I in my life, I did not know if God could forgive me for what I had done. Well, Austin talked to me and he related to me, He told me that I was forgiven and I was free. The next night, a song we sang, "I am free", had never hit home so hard. God had lifted the sins and burdens off my back, I WAS FREE!!! I yet again ran to Austin and Hugged him and picked him up off the ground. O by the way, I later found out that 5 minutes before Austin came back, the moment when I asked for God to send me a counselor that is when God told David to go and help me out. And Austin told me that when he got out of the meeting, He felt as if I needed him and he knew he needed to come see me. (kinda like that identical twin mind thing, creepy) Yea, so that night changed my life. God forgave me and cast my sins as far as the East is from the West. Austin, as many of you know is completely different from anyone, and every time I had asked him, don't you regret that, don't you wish you did not go through depression or nearly commit suicide. Don't you wish that was not a part of your life? Every time I asked he said "No, I am glad it happens. It makes me; it is part of my life." Well, for the first time I understand that. Yea, I wish I had done things the right way the first time but I do not want to change that. It makes me, it affects my life. What I did happened and I have to live with it, but I it makes me, me. And for that I thank God. So if you see me singing the Casting Crowns song "East to West" , you know why it means so much. I screwed up, but God forgave me and has no clue what I did, because He forgets it. I am a new man, and I will not go back to the mistakes I have made and the things that made up part of my lifestyle. I will not. Here are the lyrics to the song: Here I am Lord and I'm drowning In your sea of forgetfulness The chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest I don't want to end up where you found me And it echoes in my mind Keeps me awake tonight I know you've cast my sins as far As the East is from the West And I stand before you now as As though I've never sinned but today I feel like I'm just one mistake away From you leaving me this way Jesus can you show me Just how far the East is from the West Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been Come rising up in me again In the arms of your mercy I find rest Cause you know just how far the East is from the West From one scarred hand to the other I start the day the war begins And less reminding of my sin Time and time again Your truth Is drowned out by the storm I'm in Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away From you leaving me this way Jesus can you show me Just how far the East is from the West Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been Come rising up in me again In the arms of your mercy I find rest Cause you know just how far the East is from the West From one scarred hand to the other I know you've washed me white Turned my darkness into light I need your peace to get me through To get through this night I can't live by what I feel But by the truth your word reveals I'm not holding on to you But your holding on to me Your holding on to me Jesus, you know just how far The East is from the West I don't have to see the man I've been Rising up in me again In the arms of your mercy I find rest (The arms of your mercy I find rest) Cause you know just how far the East is from the West From one scarred hand to the other (x2) (Just how far, the East is from the West) (x3) From one scarred hand to the other |